Saturday, April 21, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
10 Things NOT to Do While Stoned *Happy 420*
1.
Home Repairs
However well you think you have fixed something on your house or car while you are high, you will wake up and find that it needs to be redone. "What was I thinking?" will likely be the first thing that comes out of your mouth, as you look at the pipe you fixed with Play-Doh and duct tape.
2.
Lift Weights
This is just plain dangerous. Marijuana not only impairs your focus, but it depresses your central nervous system, causing a temporary decrease in both coordination and muscular strength. Being decapitated by a barbell is not a good way to leave this world.
3.
Send Important Texts
If you need to send an important text, such as one to explain to the girl you are dating why you can't go out this Friday, do not do it high. This is a recipe for disaster. You run the risk of her realizing you are high, which is not a desired result. Also, you might simply forget you were texting halfway through, and end up not sending the text at all. Send these while you are sober, then blaze it up.
4.
Go Grocery Shopping
Unless you want to end up with a cart full of chips and snack cakes, don't go grocery shopping stoned. Your diet will thank you.
5.
Watching Horror Movies
Watching a scary movie while high will make you certain that someone is in your house, and attempting to kill you. Movies are just a little bit more real when you are high, and making a horror film your reality is bound to be a bad time.
6.
Visit Relatives
Grandma won't take kindly to smelling that "reefer" in her house. In cases where you don't see your relatives very often, be especially careful; what you do when you see them will be what they remember for the rest of the year.
7.
Public Speaking
If you have to give a speech in your economics class, don't do it high. All of those people looking at you will surely make you freak out. It doesn't look that great when you forget what your speech was about halfway through either.
8.
Work Emails
Always separate your work life from your high life. People who support going to work high generally don't make very much money, and/or don't stay employed for too long.
9.
Haunted House
The last thing you want when you are high is blood-covered corpses jumping out of dark corners and scaring you.
10.
Read
You will find yourself reading, and re-reading, the same line over and over as you think about how cool tree bark is.
HAPPY 420 from Steve TheBartender
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