Steve TheBartender's “Top Ten Sinful Cities to Get Drunk and Have Meaningless Sex with Strangers” featuring other stuff

November is busy month at the University of Regina.  It is also one of two months of the year that mustaches are considered mandatory amoung the male student body on campus.  A Mustache ride on someone’s masterpiece of a cookie tickler… Anyone?  Can you think of a better way to spend a cold snowy Saskatchewan “Movember” afternoon? It’s probably a safer alternative to studying for that midterm that my anthro prof. thought was an amazing idea to schedule it on my birthday (Nov. 25 FYI).   

Friday Novemeber 18th is a special day in Movember.  Why you might ask?  Friday Movember 18th is …drum roll please…...dum duh dah!!! …… “Have Sex With a Man with a Mustache Day”!!!!! Surprisingly enough this day is for the ladies!  It’s a way for women everywhere to show their support for all the men sporting manicured muzzys to raise awareness/money for prostate cancer. With the weather outside worse than a white coat in a shit storm can u think of better way to keep warm?  So come on ladies it’s for charity.  Only down side is that this “donation” to charity might be tough to explain to your accountant.

HELP I NEED AN ADULT!!!!

(Best Answer (most likes) to the question in the comments below wins 2 FREE SantaCon Regina Tickets)

“Is Sex tax deductable if its for charity?”

Since its colder than your ex outside and blowing just as hard.  I thought it would be a fuckin’ stellar idea to look up some warm places to go get drunk and have meaningless sex with strangers over Christmas break.  Maybe you want to blow off some steam after finals.  So if that made you think of  Thailand then welcome to Number Ten on:

“Top Ten Sinful Cities to Get Drunk and Have Meaningless Sex with Strangers”

Number 10

Point of Interest: Miss Thailand World 2011

Pattaya, Thailand

Attending a Full Moon Party in this sinful city is definitely on my list of things to do before I die.  Thailand may no longer be an exotic destination, due to excessive popularity among tourists. However it’s still a heaven on Earth for single students (though mostly men) of both sexual orientations. Pattaya is THE spot for straight males, while Phuket will please those with homosexual tendencies or those seeking an adventure with a ladyboy.

All single men should try Thailand as the best therapy for being single.  Even if you may not be perceived as particularly attractive, you will get more attention than you could bargain from in Thailand. It will come from slender young women with tight bodies.  It’s the time when regardless of your age, appearance, social status or whatever other disabilities you may be suffering from. You get to be the one rejecting them, not the other way around.  So everyone grab a hooker!  Let’s move on to:

Number 9

Point of Interest: MONTE-CARLO, MONACO - SEPTEMBER 08: Elsa Pataky attends the Montblanc "Collection Princesse Grace de Monaco" World Premiere presentation under the High Patronage of H.S.H. Prince Albert II of Monaco at Monte-Carlo Opera on September 8, 2011 in Monte-Carlo, Monaco. (Photo by Julien M. Hekimian/Getty Images for Montblanc) 2011 Getty Images

Monte Carlo, Principality of Monaco 

OK, yes – Monte Carlo is not for student travellers on a budget, but imagine the rush of always interacting with people who are ridiculously rich. Being a single female student in the city of money has its perks. Visiting a casino or any of the high end night clubs could get you hooked up with a wealthy (and lonely) European businessman.

While Las Vegas could be a place for single ladies to hook up with rich men. Monte Carlo could be a place for single male students to hook up with wealthy women. Then you could ditch the Fine Arts Degree! Go pursue a career in the film industry (with a lil’ help from your newly aquired sugar mama of course).   It may be an adventure that requires thicker pockets, but once you submerge yourself into this world of fine liquor, the world’s best cigars and gambling alongside world’s billionaires, the universe full of older women who need attention of younger men will emerge before your eyes and make it up to you.

Number 8

A few of Dublin's finest I'm pretty sure you wouldn't mind waking up next to 

Dublin, Ireland

So not exactly the warmest place in the winter but falling in love with Irish charm is as easy as one, two, three. It starts with irresistible Irish accent and stays with you as you pop in to check out any of the many pubs lining what would seem as every single street in every town. Irish people have long had the reputation for being some of the friendliest in the world so strangers are always welcomed with a smile and open embrace.

It is no coincidence that Europe’s biggest matchmaking festival for singles is hosted in an Irish town. Lisdoonvarna has a 150 year long tradition of matchmaking and even though traditions have changed over the years, as a single, you can indulge in Irish style boozing and let the romance develop spontaneously. 

Number 7

Miss Spain World 2011 .... need I say more? 

Ibiza, Spain

While many North Americans may not know much about it, Ibiza is the party island of Europe and as such a magnet for European singles.  I have once heard someone refer to Ibiza as “The Island of Sun-Soaked Debauchery” or “The Gomorrah of the Mediterranean”.

Ibiza is the place where you can let out your inner idiot and no one will judge you. Not even if you get drunk out of your mind or start indulging in excessive sexual behavior. The party on Ibiza never stops, night bars attract some of world’s top DJs and regardless of whether you’re male or female, gay or straight, finding temporary loving on Ibiza is never too hard. 

Number 6

Enough Said... 

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Amsterdam is notorious among single students for its lax approach to prostitution and drugs.  What more could you as a single student traveller want to ask for? Student bachelors visiting Amsterdam get to enjoy the best a life has to offer without much effort. Whether it’s a little shag before a puff, a little puff before a shag, or the two at the same time, Amsterdam has all it takes to see it delivered.

While Amsterdam is a heaven for pleasure seeking men, it also attracts crowds of single female student who strangely take pleasure at observing the people let loose and go wild. Afterall, watching an otherwise shy man walk into and out of brothels without a wink or second guess, accompanied by lingerie clad sexy women is quite a sight to behold. However, if streets full of sex shops and cannabis cafes are not quite your thing, you can still find romance by taking a stroll along one many bridged canals dotting this beautiful city. 

Number 5

Some times things come back from Vegas.... 

Las Vegas, Nevada

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Can there be anything more I need to say when introducing Vegas as top destination for single students? Moreover, while in Vegas, you can count on it that there will be a bachelor or bachelorette party somewhere nearby and you would have to be the deaf, blind and dumb as Helen Keller if you returned out of one of those without some wild stories of outrageous sexual debauchery.

Don’t be surprised if you sober up after a wild night in Vegas finding a tiger in your bathroom. The Hangover may be a movie, but partying in Vegas is nothing short of insane so expect the unexpected. 

Number 4

Meanwhile in New Orleans...

New Orleans, Louisiana

While the city's spicy food is great, it’s historic blues music is even better. The lax (nearly nonexistent) drinking laws are a lifesaver as bars are open 24 hours a day. This sinful city has rapidly dislodged and out-Vegased Las Vegas... no small feat! Of course, it helps to have a Mardi Gras, a.k.a show your boobs for my beads event in the streets. 

Number 3

 Genevieve C. - QC - U of Montreal ----> www.unigirlcanada.com

Montreal, Canada

Montreal has plenty of exotic places from which to choose. The two main areas are Rue Crescent, a two-block area packed with patios and pubs and Rue St. Laurent, a predominantly French-speaking spot with more upscale locations. Nice cafes turn into mini-clubs and it’s also home to most of the dance clubs.

This is pretty much a Thursday-Friday-Saturday bar city. “Canadian” beers are $4-7 and there are several 2-for-1 Happy Hours lasting well past dark. Last Call is 3 am but clubs are known to stay open past 5 am. people generally hit the bars around 11 and there are plenty of after-hours clubs downtown. Stay downtown; you can walk everywhere and it's safe day or night.  Practically everybody smokes too.  If she smokes she pokes right guys?

And don’t forget to hit the strippers and help a fellow female student pay for college. Montreal has the highest student/stripper ratio in North America.  Oh Canada!!

Number 2

An export even the USA would want to import 

Havana, Cuba

Was there any doubt about this? Not only are Cuban girls drop dead gorgeous, they are also friendly and approachable. To top it off, Cuba is in perfect proximity to North America making for an easily accessible destination for us (albeit slightly tricky for US citizens, and that’s why I love being a Canadian). It offers a true, unwesternized experience with raw eroticism and sexuality.

Aside from gorgeous women, Cuba will also astound single visitors with its beautiful beaches, the world’s finest cigars and exquisite rum – all for ridiculous prices (unless you don’t know where to look and fall for overpriced tourist traps). Cuba is a destination for single students that truly delivers.

Number 1

you can bring back herpes as a souvenir..... 

Hedonism Resorts, Jamaica

This goes without saying. Hedonism resorts of Jamaica are specifically aimed at single students looking to let their sexual nature run wild. If naked swim parties in the pool at midnight don’t get you, then discos that are off limits to couples will.  Hedonism is all about hooking up and enjoying the pleasures of life without regret or hold-backs.  

Aren’t top ten lists great?  If you happen to be bored in class this week or snowed in for the weekend. Search me facebook under Steve TheBartender or just copy this link http://www.facebook.com/stevethebartendr into your browser and check out my notes and links to other cool stuff to kill your time.  You can also feel free to cyber stalk me on twitter @BartendrSteve if that’s more your style.  Stay tuned and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

-Steve TheBartendr